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August 13, 2008

August is upon us...

I guess the point of my post is to reflect a little on the past 5 months. FIVE. It seems absurd that so much time has elapsed. On Monday I go to work for the first time in as long. I haven't even given it a second thought, really-only because I have convinced myself that if I don't think about it I won't have to go. I know that Corinne is not going to resent me for working, or forget who I am for the four hours a day that I teach. I know these things. It is more of this internal obligation that I feel I have to be with her all the time. Even going out for a few hours a day without her, I haven't learned to fully enjoy myself. This is nuts, right? I mean, if every mother out there felt this way, well, no one would work, and then they'd eventually have a mental breakdown because everyone needs some alone/adult/sans-baby time. In this respect, I am glad that I am working part time, because I need to learn to let go a little. At least so I know that I can handle it. So I guess I'm not really reflecting on the past, but rather, contemplating the future. The very near future that is Monday.

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